I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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