i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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