so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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