You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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