He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize