You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
