google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just invented taco cereal.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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