You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
