i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
