So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
