Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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