i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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