I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
