We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
