I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Duck Duck Cougar?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done