so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
