So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
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She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
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You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.