I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
