What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Still dying that you shit outside
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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