did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
