Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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