absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
