Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i can't believe i had my finger in that
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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