I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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