My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Randomize
