margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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