Plan B is the new Plan A
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
