dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize