Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
