Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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