are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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