I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
