Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
