I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize