Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
