we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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