On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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