I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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