$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize