Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
