Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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