I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
