Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
