found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
