im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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