is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Less talking, more tequila
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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