He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize