You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
