Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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