Please, let me fuck your mom
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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