foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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