I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Sober January is a disaster.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
