Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
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she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
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Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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