I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
