By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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