put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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