i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
