..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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