We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
