People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
