why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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