these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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